My Love
by Correla
Summary: Coles been acting weird lately and everyone wonders what's wrong as he has an inner battle with himself and Kai. lava shipping.
1. Chapter 1

(Coles)

It was a normal day... for me that is. I hide feelings that really need to come out. I love a team member that is one of the strongest and most bold. He is the fire ninja also known by his name Kai. Its been at least 2 years since we known each other and in those two years I've seem to be more attracted to him. I have never felt this way before and I feel like I can trust him. Its weird since I've never trusted my father or anyone before. he listens to me yes the hot headed ninja listens to me. He may seem like he doesn't but he does. Whenever I have something to say he will turn to look at me and stop what he does. I don't know if it because I'm the leader or he thinks I'm interesting or whatever. I like him a lot to say the least.

He's so great. Words can't describe what he means to me. He made me have my first _dirty_ dream. I felt so bad and so dirty that day or should I say night. I didn't want to come out my room. In the dream he made me _beg for more. _I blushed the whole week from looking at him and I tried my best to avoid him the best I could. I never wanted to do that but I see him almost everyday without his shirt because of training and I couldn't just stand there and stare so I played sick and went to the living room to watch tv and get my mind from him. He looked so sexy. Oh my, I sound like a pervert. Am I one now? I hope not ,I don't wanna sound dirty. I don't want anyone to look at me different not now.

His sister always looks at me. No not in a lovey-dovey way but more of a concern and worried. I had been avoiding the team and passing up training. She knows I've been avoiding Kai. How does she know? She watches us everyday and knows how we act around each other and she has seen that I have been acting different. I believe that Jay doesn't like me anymore because of the attention I've gained over this time from Nya. I can tell by the way he glares when Nya skips over to ask what's wrong. I just want alone time but my answer to her is just saying that I have a head ache. I could never say that I love her brother to her face. I have no idea what she sees in gay people. And I mean that in a bad way.

If she knew she would probably tell her brother too never speak to me but that really wont work since we don't speak usually. She might never look at me the same but I really don't know how she thinks of me. So do I really have to worry as much? I've never had real friend so these guys are all I got. I think Nya understands people more and that she might help me if I tell her even if she might be disgusted she consider my feelings and try to tell all she could. I'm scared of what they will think of me.. I felt so strong because of me training to be a ninja but now I am ask weak as ever put down to my knees by Kai. I don't know it happened but I remember figuring out my feelings.

I was just staring at him from the couch, taking in all his features. I didn't know why I was staring but I did. He noticed me and I didn't notice that he noticed. He stopped playing the video game and set it on pause. "Sup Cole, anything wrong." Kai said looking back at me. I blushed and looked down. He looked at me for a moment and sat the controller down on the couch and scooted over to me. "Cole?" Kai questioned. " It's nothing..." I answered then he put his hand on my shoulder and that sent shivers down my spine. I quickly pull back and stood up ready to leave the living room. Kai stood and grabbed my hand and I shivered visibly and Kai noticed. "Cole what's wrong?" Kai commanded me to tell him. I snatch my hand back forcefully and say an ' its nothing' to him and walk to my room.

I laid in my bed thinking bout what all that was until I came to the conclusion that I had a crush. Then with me overthinking it I said it was a fling. After that I stated that I was most definitely in love with Kai. But my mind screamed no while my heart screamed yes. I knew for a fact Kai was straight. Every time the guys and I go somewhere there is always this one girl that flirts with him and he'll flirt back and never even looked back at us while we watched his conversation with the girl go on. I feel bad at those times because I can never be as pretty as the girls he talked to. He had even dated one for about a month and I nearly killed my self out of rage. Silly, I know, right.

I think her name was Corre or Carrie. But I really don't care for her. She was with Kai for a month and suddenly she disappears. I guess she couldn't be with him because of his job of being a ninja was too important. I know what your thinking. I did not make her go away...don't ever think like that because if I did I would really tell you yes not lie about it but sadly no I had nothing to do with this. It was a normal break up for a couple. I have no idea how couples act since I have never been with anyone at all. I want to save myself for Kai if he will take me. Only he can have me. Only Kai. No I do not have a obsession with him...okay maybe a little one.

I like him. No, this is a fling. Wait a minute sorry I forgot this is love. Yes I'm in love. How many times have I said that already. I never thought I could or that I would and not for a guy. I guess this was and accident maybe. But you know what they say Accidents Happen. This was a painfully bliss accident._ If he'll never take me I will still love him. No matter what I guess this is real love after all. I want to stay by him in life and give him myself fully. He has stood up for all of us and now I want to repay him somehow. I know I am pitiful for starting an unrequited love but you know they say it is the strongest love ever. He may date other girls in the future but they wont have a bond as deep as this one. The one I have with Kai. He is my greatest. The greatest ninja I have ever met._

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**So I started a chapter long story again.**

**If I get 3 reviews on every chapter I'll keep updating. **

**My King will be back. Connie(my sis) better stay out of my account.**

**Love you guys.**


	2. A kiss ended it all

(Coles)

I'm currently in my room sitting on the floor. Why? Because I just feel like I should be. I've been visited from Nya twice today asking if I was not dead in my room. If I was dead I wouldn't have answered the door now would I? She says the guys are worried about me and that I should come out to talk but I don't think that I should. I have been a social outcast since I was a child. I'm not really good with communication but since I'm the leader I can give out orders but if anyone really paid attention to me they can see that I have lots of trouble getting out my words trying not to fumble them. Plus I can be a real smartass sometimes and I make people feel dumb a lot if they don't know what the heck I talk about. So I would just stay in my room. But really the Main reason is Kai.

I can't sit next to him. Not after what happened last week with him grabbing my hand and making me shiver and me leaving forcefully. Its too embarrassing. Sitting next to your love and not getting to know him more like holding hands and kissing or even flirting! But I forget that I'm not in my dream world but in reality and I can't do does things with him. He's straight. I act strong in front of them but what's the use now everything is now calm. I don't need to be strong. I feel sick not coughing sick but love sick. If this is how being in love is like.. I hate it. I really need some sleep to figure this out. I get up and lay on the bed. 'I really need some sleep.' I think and bury my face in the black pillow.

(With the guys: Kai's)

I'm with the guys in the living room playing video games. I stop the game and move to the kitchen looking for something to drink in the fridge. I stop and my thoughts are suddenly on Cole he usually would be in his room. I start to think about him more and what he does up there. Last week I asked him if anything was wrong and he snatched his hand back from me. I guess I kind of pressured him to much with a command that was sort of in a yelling tone. Maybe I shouldn't have pressed him on to tell. I sent my sister up the to see if she can see what's up with but she comes back and say that Cole has an headache.

I know for fact that ,that is a lie. Not from my sister but from Cole. He's been saying that for a while and I know for a fact that headaches don't last that long and I've had a concussion that only lasted for 3 days. I know that Cole is strong. I walk back to the kitchen to see Sensei explaining something to the others and I start to listen in.

"Cole will be needing an instructor for the week to get back into training. He has been missing out on new techniques and I will need one of you ,unfortunately, to get him were you are with training." Sensei said in his old raspy voice. Everyone looked at each other and I just kept my eyes on Sensei. "I'll do it." I said and everyone turned to me. "Are you sure Kai?" Sensei questioned knowing of Kai's impulses and thinking if it was not the best idea out there. "Yes I will help Cole out with training and I promise to be gentle." Kai answered knowing fully what was on Sensei's mind. Sensei thought it over and Finally agreed to my gesture. "Alright you will start tomorrow with training." He says and goes back to his room. I sit back on the couch and start to replay the game that me and Jay were playing. I hear footsteps coming from down the hall and I turn my head the slight to see Cole from right going to the kitchen yawning. I quit the game and walk over to him to apologize but he seemed to pick up speed.

"Hey Cole, you okay." I say and he opens the fridge and gets out the grape juice. He puts it on the table and goes to the cabinets for a glass. He looks to me and nods answering my question and gets his grape juice and walks past me blushing. He walks through the living room and stumbles on the controller on the floor that Jay had left out and he had dropped his drink and suddenly fell backwards. I ran up behind him and caught him right on time. I wanted to ask him if he was okay but he grabbed my shirt when he fell and our mouths connected by accident. I couldn't lie those were the best 7 seconds of my life. I felt something. He pushes me away and runs to his room. I stood shocked until I heard a " Oh My" from my sister. I look and suddenly remembered that everyone was in the room and just witnessed what had just happened. "Was that..." Zane started but could not find the words even he was in complete shock!

I leave the living room to my own and started thinking 'What the Hell just Happened'.

(Jays)

Oh MY-Did Cole just kiss Kai or was it the other way around all I know is that Cole fell and Kai caught him and then next thing you know they're kissing. Right in front of everyone. Man, I knew something was up with Cole but I didn't know he was some fag or something. Maybe it was an accident or something. But I know for sure today after what's happened I don't have to worry about him and Nya anymore. I was just sitting on the couch, turned my head, and saw it. Cole had ran off to his room and it took Kai a few seconds to regain what was left of structure and walked off too. Zane ended up cleaning the spilled grape juice and MY girl ,Nya, was still in shock too but was somewhat giddy about it happening. No one spoke of it. But I guess its for the best though but I might need to use this for blackmail.

(Coles)

I just got out my room to get something to drink then suddenly Kai follows me to the kitchen and asks me if I'm okay and I ignore him but I stop until I noticed he wanted an answer so I just looked to him a nod blushing a bit thinking that he really does care about my health. I quickly try to and side step him trying to get back to my room where I can't embarrass myself but my plans are ruined when I tripped on a controller. I didn't see it at first and then I was falling. In the knick of time Kai had caught me and I grabbed his shirt just in case I wouldn't fall completely but I grabbed the collar pulling his head down and making him kiss me. I swear I thought I was in a dream but I took the seven seconds to press back. I wasn't surprised that he didn't respond probably from shock. I get out of my fantasy world and push Kai back and run to my room knowing he wouldn't follow.

I got on the floor and sat down shaking while rocking back and forth. Why had I just done that? I ask myself. And everyone was in the room! Jay, Zane, and **NYA. **She probably hates me or she's thinking of all the gay moments I've had, probably. I feel scared and finished. I silently weep while trying to calm myself. I didn't want to be different I was different growing up. At school I was different because I couldn't dance and since I was at the school that really where my life started. I'm even different in my fathers eyes because he says I was suppose to be like him but I'm not and when I was a child he said I differ from the children he has met before. But when I came here I felt normal and now I'm just a social outcast again.

I wonder how Kai is doing. He probably hates me and right after he tried to save me from falling! I feel like an idiot. Why did I pull down his collar? I start shaking more and cry out loud this time. I try to wipe the tears away but the won't stop. I don't know what might happen tomorrow so I hope it doesn't come. I climb ont my bed and lay down tears still stinging my eyes. I want to die. Yet I don't want to. I'm sorry Kai. I really am please, oh please ,forgive me. I start feeling sleepy and I just lay still for a moment and yawn 5 times.

(Nya's)

I new this would happen. I just wanted to know when and I saw it when Cole kissed back. It was so romantic and so beautiful I almost screamed from the excitement of it all. But by the look on the guys face I guess it would be inappropriate to do something like that. When Cole pushed Kai back I thought of his insecurity and how cute it was. I mean, I was shocked. Really shocked. I knew he had a crush on my brother by the way he acted towards Kai. He would looked dazed and have a dreamy look on his features. I once caught him staring at my brothers body when Kai had his shirt off and his eyes were straight on Kai. He had a blush and excused him self because he said he felt sick and would leave.

I wish I knew how this love got started because I would totally write a love story based on them. I have no idea on how Kai feels about Cole though. By the look on his face when he kissed Cole I don't think he has feelings for him but that is only a guess. I gotta figure if my bro liked it or not. I can really help Cole out after all this. Wait a minute didn't Kai say he was going to help Cole train. Maybe he doesn't need my help. I start thinking of all the possibilities that might happen between those two. Ooooooooh, I just cant wait!

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**Longest chapter I've ever done.**


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